That failed, so I have a proper grown-ups job, but for a while now I have been thinking of blogging. Just getting my thoughts out of my head like Dumbledore does with the Pensive…. This blog is my pensive (apologies non-harry potter lovers)
Just as I was finishing my last year of uni, I was handed one of those self-development books…. all about the law of attraction.
I’d never heard of these sorts of books before, I’ve always been a chick lit, Martina Cole or trashy novel kinda girl but once I started reading I realised I needed to know everything about the law of attraction & right now!
I never realised how negative I was before reading these books, how I let stupid things control my moods, ruin my days & how my emotions completely controlled my entire life…. they still do sort of, I am girl ffs!!!
But yes I was a negative norman & actually wasn’t enjoying life…. I wasn’t depressed or unhappy, I had some really amazing things & people & all that, but I wasn’t living the life I actually wanted…. I was just drifting, waiting for life to happen, not realising it actually already was.
These books & the law of attraction as a whole changed my entire outlook on life & I am forever grateful to the person that gave me my first self-development book.
Now please don’t think I am going to start shoving all that blah down your throats & tell you how I am now living my dream life & have millions in the bank….. I F-ing Wish!!!! I am also not going to pretend that I have the missing ingredient to the law of attraction & if you download my eBook for £100 a month you too will start living your dream & have millions in the bank… again I Wish!!!
But what I will tell you is the book made me think….. And slowly started to change me.
I became more conscious of who I was as a person, how my everyday actions affected not just me but others around me….. how just saying thank you to people who should actually be thanked could change a whole persons day (sorry for that little bit of cheese). I also started to realise that while I may not be a millionaire skinny bitch who owned all the Hermes bikinis (self confessed handbag lover…. this will not be the first time you hear about handbags) I was actually living quite a lovely life – I just hadn’t noticed.
I had the boy who told me everyday I was beautiful…. even though he heard me fart on our first date (I am an absolute keeper right?) and he’s a Fireman so actually I won the lottery there. Yep he drives me mad but he puts up with my crazy and makes me smile every damn day. I had a big brilliant annoying family (the best kind to have), a roof over my head, money in the bank (ish) and a select few of friends that were amazing loyal, brutally honest, who would tell me if I ever looked fat or ridulous also help me get through anything I needed, no questions asked. I also had a good job & was on my way to a first class degree….. I just hadn’t seen it so clearly.
Once my eyes were opened to my lovely little life, I become so much more positive….. & realised I wanedt more loveliness in my life…. no not the Hermes birkins, ok maybe a bit, but more along the lines of things that made me grateful, happy & also motivated to stay positive.
That is where this blog comes in….. It’s basically taken me 4 years since reading that first book to get of arse & write my first post…. but, well, life!
All through these self development books is the theme of finding your purpose in the world & I would constantly search my brain for my purpose, what was it that I really wanted to do. Writing was always there just hanging out amongst the junk of my mind. I kept coming back to it & then brushing it off… I mean really, could I write? Did I have anything to even write about? Anything even worth glancing at, letting alone actual people reading… I still don’t have the answer to these questions but for now my purpose just may be sharing the junk of my mind & jumble of random thoughts on this blog and hopefully having some lovely people read it and maybe think it is a little bit lovely….
So yes…. we all start somewhere…. and this is the start of me, Gem.
Don’t mind me xxx